Not Everyone Is Going To Like You — And It’s OK
They can’t jive with you no matter how hard you try. Keep your head up because sometimes, it is what is.
Many of us may have had a similar experience like this before. So let’s do a bit of role-playing, shall we?
The story begins on a sunny Monday morning in English class. Your teacher announces a group project where you are required to showcase their own interpretation of a myth like Persephone and Hades. In view, students are then given the freedom to choose the group tailored to their strengths as inspired by Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Those with an affinity for conservation and animal welfare are grouped together under Nature Smart whilst the number lovers are off to Math Smart. Passionate writers assemble in Word Smart to express their feelings on ink; Picture Smart is for the artists that let their colors and photographs do the talking, and Music Smart is for those drawn by the irresistible beauty of melodies. Then there’s Body Smart — a flock of individuals bonded over their kinesthetic gifts, be it in performance art or athleticism.
You join Body Smart because of your passion for acting, so you seeing stars is par for the course when your teacher entreats your group into a skit depicting the zany romance between the King and Queen of the Underworld — which for those unfamiliar, started quite innocently with Persephone trying to pluck a narcissus on her garden when Hades seized her out of nowhere. The group begins brainstorming how to reenact the myth, followed by the assignment of roles per student. Although your heart and guts covet Persephone, your group leader gets the upper hand and asks you to play as…the flower, much to your dismay.
For that reason, you are left wondering through rehearsals and downtime back home why this classmate gave you a role where you’re simply in the background acting as a human prop. A lot of things could’ve factored in her decision. Maybe she thought your other groupmate was a better fit for Persephone or that she couldn’t see you filling in Demeter’s or Hades’ shoes even for just a class project. You are tempted to confide in your other groupmates about it; however, you do not want to come across as a drama queen that everyone else starts painting you as a drama machine.
Come to think of it: have you ever thought that maybe what if this group leader isn’t just feeling it with you?
The signs were all there: closed body language (i.e. crossed arms, can’t make eye contact in conversation), stunted responses as short as a single word, being jovial with everyone else but you, making excuses to not engage. Now for the Body Smart skit project — her giving you an itsy bitsy role might have been the clue of clues on what she feels about you.
Don’t give too much thought about it, though. This stock phrase remains evergreen in the year 2020: you can’t please everybody.
Fine, this group leader is not just that into you. She sees you at the rock bottom tier of her Life Pyramid whereas her BFFs are sitting right at the very peak. What gives? I can only guarantee that not everyone in this green earth shares the same haughty perspective of you. Don’t let a single scathing verdict ruin your parade! Your friends, family, colleagues, and many others are more than enthusiastic to express at least one of the 1000 Reasons Why You Are Special.
We love hearing songs of praise from others’ mouths to our ears. However, that should not excuse us from leaning upon acclamation alone to validate your self-worth; or else, you will only feel good when others move the mountains for you.
Sure, this group leader doesn’t see you as her equal. Just because she doesn’t see you in an endearing light shouldn’t provoke you to compromise your values to satisfy her tastes, so then you sabotage your goals and thus become a shadow of yourself.
The only opinion that matters the greatest is yours when all is said and done. While varying opinions from various people are inexorable, you still need to trust your gut and believe what is right for your means. Cliched as it goes, it is, without doubt, real that you have the capacity to lead a fulfilling life and find happiness.
